As a lot of you guys know, I have been really struggling with a ton of things. The list could go on, but if you have been reading my blog, you all know what has been going on.
As this month started approaching (my birthday month) I had a party planned to have all of my good friends over. But as it started getting super close, I felt like I didn't deserve the party, I started feeling guilty that no one liked me, feeling like a failure, and so many other things. I prayed about it and shared with a couple of friends about how I felt, and they encouraged me and let me know to stop worrying about all of that.

The other day after my party, I realized about how blessed I really am. I had many friends help me prepare for my party, helped me clean and decorate, and so many other things. Then all the people that took their time out of their Saturday to come and help celebrate, that really blessed me. All the love that people showed to me overwhelmed me.

Then I got spoiled with a ton of birthday wishes on Facebook. To be honest, that made me extremely blessed. I got over 50 things on my timeline and so many birthday notes. It made my day, and made me know how many people actually love me. On top of that, my birth grandparents, my grandma, 3 brothers, Jason, and my parents, they all helped me celebrate my actual birthday. It was extremely special. On top of that, my google plus friends wrote me things on google plus.

Literally this has been a huge blessing to me this birthday. I would have to say this has been the best birthday ever. :)

Truly Blessed!

Through all that I have been going through these past few months (rejection from friends and family, being bullied, having a hard time in school, etc.) I have been very discouraged with a lot going on. When I find a friend that tells me that they will always be here forever by my side, it is super hard to believe that now. Because lots of the times, they are the ones that leave. It makes it super hard to trust anyone when this keeps happening.
The Lord really has helped me to realize that I shouldn't depend on my friends... Because they are going to fail me and so is my family as well.
He has taught me that I need to fully depend on him and no one else.

But God has also taught me who my true friends are. The ones that have been here for me even through hard times. I could name a ton of people, but I know that I would forget people if I did. So I just want you to know that you know who you are.

I am truly blessed though to have some of the friends I have in my life. They have been here through the thick and thin. And I am so blessed. 9
But I am TRULY TRULY blessed to have my parents, Biblical counselor, my sisters (Hope and Niah), and my brothers in my life. They have all been a huge blessing trying to get me through all of this. They have been a huge encouragement in my life, and I don't know how I would get through it without them. I love them all and am truly bless by them.
God is so good to give me them in my life.

God has a Purpose!

Lately I have been thinking about what good can come out of things I am going through. Something the Lord showed me the past couple weeks is that good things can come out of these trials. I have grown a lot closer to my family, I have grown closer to the Lord, I can help others through similar things, and the list goes on.

I realized though that some of my friends have been going through VERY similar things that I have been going through. It has been extremely encouraging to me to see this. Because I have been able to help these friends and encourage them. I can't wait until they get out of these situations, so that one day they will have the opportunity to be able to encourage others people.

God is so good in being able to teach me all of this. God has a purpose for everything He lets you go through.

Catching up!

Hey everyone! I am so sorry that I haven't written on here in awhile. I have been extremely crazy busy. Writing papers, working on school, memorizing a ton of things, working through some things, growing in the Lord through hard times, and so many other things. Anyways, I haven't made the time to write in awhile. Writing is one of my most favorite things to do, no matter my mood... I write. A couple weeks ago it got to the point that I stopped writing because I was down and didn't feel like writing was even helping. A lot of the times however I feel, I love being able to write. But it got to a point that I got extremely down and didn't feel like writing was working. So I stopped. But to tell you the truth, that didn't help at all. It made me feel worse. And I didn't realize until today that I shouldn't have stopped writing. Because God has blessed me the gift of being able to write. So I need to use it for His glory and encourage others.

So here I am writing again. I got very discouraged about writing. People started telling me that I wasn't good enough, that I am a total failure as a friend, a child, a daughter, and so many other things. So I hid myself in my shell. And didn't even want to do anything for awhile. There were a couple weeks that I just tried staying home as much as possible because I didn't want to be around anyone. I didn't want to set myself up for hurt and all that again.

To tell you the truth though, God wasn't wanting that. Through those moments, He has been trying to show me that even though I don't feel like trusting others, even though others tell me I am ugly, even though people tell me that I have no reason for living because I am a failure. God wants me to know that He loves me the way I am. And through these trials He is with me. I can trust Him and He is enough for me. I don't need to worry if I am not "enough" for others. I just need to only think of what my Father thinks of me. And that is that He thinks that I am Fearfully and Wonderfully made.

God is good.