School changes

For awhile I was extremely excited about my senior year, but now that it is coming. I am really not looking forward to it. Too many changes, most of them I don't like. I feel like I am going to be the person that is doing all her school without any outside classes. I am really going to miss GBT. Literally, I am really having a hard time with my school changes, this is probably the hardest thing I have ever had to do. 

Please be praying for me as these changes are not easy. Also, please be praying for my attitude, as it hasn't been the best lately. 

God's Love Never Changes!

Lately I have been being extremely confused by my emotions... I have been jealous in some relationships. I have felt unloved and that I am just a failure. Furthermore, I have had other mixed emotions. But I have been praying and bringing my feelings, burdens, and concerns to the Lord. There are times when I feel like the Lord wouldn't want to listen to me, but then I am reminded of His unchanging love for me. No matter the mistakes I have, God's love for me has never changed. Although, I will continue to make mistakes, God's love will always remain the same.

Thank You, Lord for giving me strength. Continue to help me trust in You in everything I do. 

Kitten love

 Cookies and Cream (CC for short) I don't want to give her up.

 Panda

 York

 Bagheera

 Mommy Sox with her kitties

 CC is the most photogenic out of all of them and is my favorite.

That's My King

This is super encouraging, please take the time to read it. smile emoticon

"That's My King"
Dr. S.M Lockridge

"The Bible says My King is the King of the Jews

He's the King of Israel,
He is the King of Righteousness
He's the King of the Ages
He's the King of Heaven
He's the King of Glory
He's the King of Kings and
He's the Lord of Lords

THAT'S MY KING
I WONDER, DO YOU KNOW HIM?

My King is a Sovereign King
No means of measure can define His Limitless love
He's enduringly strong
He's entirely sincere
He's eternally Steadfast
He's He's Immortally Graceful
He's imperially Powerful
He's Impartially Merciful

THAT'S MY KING

He's the greatest phenomenon that has ever crossed the Horizon of this world.
He's God's Son
He's the sinners Savior
He's the Centerpiece of Civilization
He's the Unparalleled
He's unprecedented
He is the Loftiest idea in Literature
He's the Highest Personality in Philosophy
He's the fundamental doctrine of True Theology
He's the only One qualified to be an all-sufficient Savior.

I WONDER IF YOU KNOW HIM TODAY?

He supplies strength for the weak
He's available for the tempted and the tried
He sympathizes and He saves
He strengthens and sustains
He guards and He guides
He heals the sick
He cleansed Lepers
He forgives sinners
He discharges Debtors
He delivers the captive
He defends the Feeble
He blesses the young
He serves the unfortunate
He regards the aged
He rewards the diligent
He beautifies the meek

I WONDER IF YOU KNOW HIM?

He's the key to knowledge
He's a wellspring of wisdom
He's the doorway of deliverance
He's the pathway of peace
He's the roadway of righteousness
He's the highway of holiness
He's the gateway of Glory

DO YOU KNOW HIM? WELL,

His life is matchless
His goodness is limitless
His mercy is everlasting
His love never changes
His Word is enough
His Grace is sufficient
His reign is righteous
His yoke is easy
His burden is light

I WISH I COULD DESCRIBE HIM TO YOU...

He's indescribable
He's Incomprehensible
He's invincible
He's irresistible
You can't get Him out of you mind
You can't get Him off of your hand
You can't outlive Him
You can't live without Him
The Pharisees couldn't stand Him.
But they found out they couldn't stop Him
Pilate couldn't find any fault in Him
Herod couldn't kill Him
Death couldn't handle Him
And the Grave couldn't hold Him.

THAT'S MY KING!"

Changes!

This summer has been good.... It has been fun relaxing, going to the beach with good friends, hanging out, and just having a good time. Also, there have been some downers though. This whole summer I have been thinking I was going to continue my last year of GBT. But this past week, I was informed that I won't be continuing my last year. It was hard to take that news, but I trust that the Lord has a great plan for my senior year. The only thing that really bummed me out is I wish I was more prepared to be able to say goodbye to my classmates and teacher.
But God has some great plans for me this year, I can already see it.

I will be doing some classes at the college class for some of my General Ed and on the side trying to find a job.

I have been struggling with my anxiety more with all of these changes and things that are going on in my life. But I trust that the Lord has a great plan for my anxiety... I know He will one day be able to use me to encourage and help another that has similar struggles as me.

Thank you so much Lord for letting us go through things so that we can grow closer to you and cling to you daily.

I Surrender All!

About a month and a half ago, my parents saw that are church had open sign ups to go on a summer youth retreat with our church. For a awhile, I was arguing about going. I didn't want to go for various reasons. After a few days of praying and getting counsel from others about going, I decided to go. I still was really not wanting to go, but I felt that God was calling me to go. I know that when God wants us to do things, sometimes he takes us out of our comfort zones. So I decided to go and trust the Lord. 

I went up very nervous and anxious, but continued to trust the Lord. 

I am extremely glad that I went. The Lord really blessed me up there. I learned so much and I don't regret one bit of it. God drew me closer to Himself, He taught me to trust in Him through tough times, He blessed me with close friends on my team and great team leaders, He taught me many wonderful things there, and so much more. 

One praise report is:

When I went up there, I was convicted that I have been holding a ton back in my life and that I was being more of a fan of Jesus than a Follower of Jesus. It was extremely convicting. So the last night of the retreat I decided to commit myself to the Lord fully. 

It has really changed my life. Since I have been down the mountain, I have been challenged.... But it has been really good for me. I have been learning a ton and growing extremely close to the Lord. 

Thank You so much Lord for everything... Thank You for Your unconditional love. 

Clinging to Him!

God has been really teaching me these past seven months. Back in November I was struggling with getting bullied. I didn't share with anyone for about three weeks... Things kept happening, so I decided to open up to my parents and share with them. We tried several things to stop it, and it didn't stop. So I started to learn to trust the Lord through it, even when it was super hard. Other things little by little kept happening. I started having other things happen, started having rumors spread about me, people continued to make fun of me, and I lost "friends" from it. It really stopped me from wanting to go to certain places, stopped me from wanting to do acting in front of people, and other things.
But I one day realized that what people think of me and the mean things they say to me shouldn't matter to me. As most of you know I am a huge people pleaser and when I know people aren't friends with me, it makes me feel super bad.
If this is or has happened to you before, I would really encourage you to do a few things... I have learned these things from what friends, family, counselors, and ultimately what God wants me to do. I pray these suggestions would encourage you and help you (as they are helping me):

First, trust that the Lord has a plan for letting these things happen to you. He is honestly letting these things happen to help you and to draw you closer to Him.

Secondly, try not to be a people pleaser. I have learned that this doesn't help at all. It is extremely stressful always worrying about what people think of you.

Thirdly, try hanging around people that are positive and are there for you. Don't worry about those people who are bullying you. Instead surround yourself with those people that are going to encourage you and be there for you. And surround yourself with people that will stand up for you when you get made fun of.

Fourthly, stand up for others that get made fun of. It really blesses the people and shows the bullies that what they are doing is wrong.

Also, make sure that your parents, mentors, and a close friend knows so that you don't keep it in. That is why we have our family, mentors, and friends. Is to grow from one and another and encourage one another. Don't keep it in. I think that is one of the worst things you can do. I know I did that for awhile, but all it did was discourage, depress, and make me a lot worse. So share with someone that you trust your feelings.

Honestly, God has taught me a ton these past seven months he has taught me to trust Him through bullying situations, difficult situations in school, family situations, struggles with friendships, and with all of this He has drawn me so close to Him. I am so blessed that I have my family, mentors, close friends, and ultimately my Heavenly Father that is here for me.
My Heavenly Father has also taught me to not stop doing what I love even though it was hard. I wanted to stop my acting, singing, and some classes. But my Heavenly Daddy is helping me to continue even when it is hard. Thank you Daddy for the strength you are giving me.

God is Good!

It is super hard when I feel alone to know that there actually are people that love and care for me. I know God does love and care for me also, but sometimes after you have failed terribly. It is hard to believe that anyone would love me. God is so good though, even when I don't see it. He has a huge and perfect plan for my life, even though I don't see it. It is so hard when you love someone so much, and people try pulling you away from that person. It is extremely difficult. But that will NEVER EVER change my love for that person. Even if it means I can't talk to them for a long time, I won't ever stop loving them. It hurts so much, but I know and trust the Lord that God has a great plan for each of us. Even if it is to not be with this person. I know that God has a plan for me and my friend. 

God is good! :) 

Seeing Yourself Through the Eyes of God!

For my birthday my dear friend sent me a book called, His Thoughts Toward Me by: Marie Chapian. This book has really blessed me a ton. I will be sharing some parts from the book that hopefully will encourage you as much as it does me. Enjoy!

" Seeing Yourself through the Eyes of God-

'He who gains Wisdom loves his own life; he who keeps understanding shall prosper and find good.'

(Prov. 19:8, Amp. Bible)

Speak of yourself as though it was I, the Father, describing you. The new life I have given you does not make room for self-hate, self-derision or self-inflicted insults. 

You are My own handiwork, My workmanship, recreated in Christ Jesus, born anew that you may do those good works for which I predestined you, taking paths which I prepared ahead of time that you should walk in them-living the good life which I prearranged and made ready for you to live. Do not be rash to utters harsh words against yourself. 

Be careful with your mouth and stop your heart before it is hasty to utter negative, demeaning words before God. 

I love you!

I call you with an everlasting love

constantly

constantly. 

If you were to think of yourself as I think of you, how different you would be.

Ecclesiastes 5:2; Ephesians 2:10; Jeremiah 31:3."

As a lot of you guys know, I have been really struggling with a ton of things. The list could go on, but if you have been reading my blog, you all know what has been going on.
As this month started approaching (my birthday month) I had a party planned to have all of my good friends over. But as it started getting super close, I felt like I didn't deserve the party, I started feeling guilty that no one liked me, feeling like a failure, and so many other things. I prayed about it and shared with a couple of friends about how I felt, and they encouraged me and let me know to stop worrying about all of that.

The other day after my party, I realized about how blessed I really am. I had many friends help me prepare for my party, helped me clean and decorate, and so many other things. Then all the people that took their time out of their Saturday to come and help celebrate, that really blessed me. All the love that people showed to me overwhelmed me.

Then I got spoiled with a ton of birthday wishes on Facebook. To be honest, that made me extremely blessed. I got over 50 things on my timeline and so many birthday notes. It made my day, and made me know how many people actually love me. On top of that, my birth grandparents, my grandma, 3 brothers, Jason, and my parents, they all helped me celebrate my actual birthday. It was extremely special. On top of that, my google plus friends wrote me things on google plus.

Literally this has been a huge blessing to me this birthday. I would have to say this has been the best birthday ever. :)

Truly Blessed!

Through all that I have been going through these past few months (rejection from friends and family, being bullied, having a hard time in school, etc.) I have been very discouraged with a lot going on. When I find a friend that tells me that they will always be here forever by my side, it is super hard to believe that now. Because lots of the times, they are the ones that leave. It makes it super hard to trust anyone when this keeps happening.
The Lord really has helped me to realize that I shouldn't depend on my friends... Because they are going to fail me and so is my family as well.
He has taught me that I need to fully depend on him and no one else.

But God has also taught me who my true friends are. The ones that have been here for me even through hard times. I could name a ton of people, but I know that I would forget people if I did. So I just want you to know that you know who you are.

I am truly blessed though to have some of the friends I have in my life. They have been here through the thick and thin. And I am so blessed. 9
But I am TRULY TRULY blessed to have my parents, Biblical counselor, my sisters (Hope and Niah), and my brothers in my life. They have all been a huge blessing trying to get me through all of this. They have been a huge encouragement in my life, and I don't know how I would get through it without them. I love them all and am truly bless by them.
God is so good to give me them in my life.

God has a Purpose!

Lately I have been thinking about what good can come out of things I am going through. Something the Lord showed me the past couple weeks is that good things can come out of these trials. I have grown a lot closer to my family, I have grown closer to the Lord, I can help others through similar things, and the list goes on.

I realized though that some of my friends have been going through VERY similar things that I have been going through. It has been extremely encouraging to me to see this. Because I have been able to help these friends and encourage them. I can't wait until they get out of these situations, so that one day they will have the opportunity to be able to encourage others people.

God is so good in being able to teach me all of this. God has a purpose for everything He lets you go through.

Catching up!

Hey everyone! I am so sorry that I haven't written on here in awhile. I have been extremely crazy busy. Writing papers, working on school, memorizing a ton of things, working through some things, growing in the Lord through hard times, and so many other things. Anyways, I haven't made the time to write in awhile. Writing is one of my most favorite things to do, no matter my mood... I write. A couple weeks ago it got to the point that I stopped writing because I was down and didn't feel like writing was even helping. A lot of the times however I feel, I love being able to write. But it got to a point that I got extremely down and didn't feel like writing was working. So I stopped. But to tell you the truth, that didn't help at all. It made me feel worse. And I didn't realize until today that I shouldn't have stopped writing. Because God has blessed me the gift of being able to write. So I need to use it for His glory and encourage others.

So here I am writing again. I got very discouraged about writing. People started telling me that I wasn't good enough, that I am a total failure as a friend, a child, a daughter, and so many other things. So I hid myself in my shell. And didn't even want to do anything for awhile. There were a couple weeks that I just tried staying home as much as possible because I didn't want to be around anyone. I didn't want to set myself up for hurt and all that again.

To tell you the truth though, God wasn't wanting that. Through those moments, He has been trying to show me that even though I don't feel like trusting others, even though others tell me I am ugly, even though people tell me that I have no reason for living because I am a failure. God wants me to know that He loves me the way I am. And through these trials He is with me. I can trust Him and He is enough for me. I don't need to worry if I am not "enough" for others. I just need to only think of what my Father thinks of me. And that is that He thinks that I am Fearfully and Wonderfully made.

God is good.

When you feel down!

Today has been extremely hard for me. I really feel like giving up on everything. The moment I feel like things are going great.... I have friends to talk to, feeling like I am fine with my adoption things, feeling like I am doing great in school, feeling like I have friends to talk to when I need advice, etc. Once I feel that this is all going great, I feel that things come crashing down. I feel that I am really alone and that I have no friends or family to talk to about all this, then I feel that people don't like me, I feel unloved, I feel that people are just rejecting me, I feel that I am failing big time in school, worrying about having to move, becoming jealous of some friendships, feeling that I just can't do this. Honestly, it is hard, because I don't feel like others understand me. 

This is super hard, I have been going through this all for the past few months. I just wish sometimes that I could just make things better with just a snap of the finger. But it is not that easy. 

I know that God has me go through these things though so that I can grow closer to Him each day as I go through this.

This is an extremely hard time in my life right now, feeling like I have been rejected by many and so many other things. 

But I need to remember that God is sovereign and He is good! I am beyond blessed to have a Savior here for me who is here 24/7. 

Being a Bright Light in this Dark World!

It is so sad to see some things people are posting these days... Things about people thinking they are gay, acting like talking about sex is totally fine for us teens to be talking about and joking around with, bullying people over social media, making jokes about suicide, and so much more.

To be honest, it really hurts me to see people posting things like this. We are not building one another up when we are talking and sharing these things.
As teens we should be wanting to grow in our relationship with the Lord and not be worrying about our relationships with others right now. And we should never in our life be bullying people. God doesn't want us to do this. He wants us to be loving to one another and build one another up in the Lord.
Also, one thing that really hurts me is when I hear people and see people posting things about suicide. Like, making suicide funny or just joking around with it. This is a serious thing guys. No one should be playing around with it. I have heard people share with me of how they feel when they hear others joking around with it, especially if they have had those thoughts before of ending their life. It is super hard when people go through this, and then when people play around and joke about suicide... It is super hurtful to a lot of people that are out there. So watch what you say, because you can't take those words back.

I hope that I can be an encouragement to anyone that is reading this. Because honestly I am learning all these things as well. You are not alone. I have been through many of these things, just as others have.
Don't support or go along with what the world wants. Instead, support and go with what God wants.
Let's be Bright Lights for Jesus in this dark world.

My Best Friend is Walking this Road with me.

About a year and a half ago I started struggling with anxiety extremely bad. It got to the point where I had to go to the doctors. Several doctors weren't helping and they just kept sending me from doctor to doctor. On top of all of my anxiety, it got super frustrating. It got to the point that I just told my mom that I didn't want to see one more doctor. Finally last April we tried seeing another doctor. And she was finally able to tell me what was wrong. Apparently since I have been born I have had problems with my pancreas. And we had never heard that before. So for almost 17 years, I have been struggling with pancreas problems without knowing it. 

Last May I started a very strict diet, and that was extremely hard for me. There were many days of tears and just wanting to give up with it. It honestly was probably the hardest thing I have ever done. I did that up until November. When Thanksgiving came around, I started sliding away from the diet little by little. And by Christmas time I was 90% off of the diet. I started really struggling with depression during those times. I didn't realize that it was probably part of me going off of the diet, until recently. Because I was going through a ton other than the diet. 

I went back to the doctors about two weeks ago. I was very scared of going, because I just didn't want the doctor to put me back on this strict diet. I knew that if she would, that I would most likely have a bad attitude about it. So I texted a few friends asking them to be praying for the doctor to have wisdom on what to do with me. And on top of that, pray for my attitude. I didn't want to have a bad attitude if she put me on this diet again, but I knew it would be hard for me not to. 

So I went to the doctors and the doctor decided to put me on that same diet but on for 10 days... Just to cleanse me. And then after 10 days I have to go on Paleo. 

God totally answered prayers.

Right now, I am on the forth day of this cleanse. And to be totally honest, it is so hard for me. I have been having emotional break downs and just have been wanting to give up, but I know that God is doing this all for a reason. 

Yesterday my mother challenged me to write down three positive things about this diet... Here is what I came up with. 

#1. I am getting healed right now, so I won't be sick when I am around 20 years old. 

#2. I am loosing weight... ( That may not be the best reason, but that is a reason that will keep me doing this diet. ) 

The last reason is my main reason...

#3. I am growing so close to the Lord through this

This last reason has been the reason why I haven't quit. I wouldn't change any of my health problems for anything. Because I have grown so close to the Lord this past year. I have lost friends, had problems with adoption stuff, and so many other things, in the midst of being on this diet with health problems. 

From all that is going on, I am learning so much from the Lord. It is just so amazing and I have been growing so close to my Lord and Savior. He is so good to me. He has been through all that I am going through and He is my Best Friend. I am so glad that He understands what I am going through. And He can walk this road with me. 

Feeling Reject? There's Hope.

Are you or have you ever felt like you are being rejected? If so, I want you to know that I have been in the exact place before. It is extremely hard, but trust me... I know that we can get on the other side of this together. I have been learning a ton through all of this.

If you are struggling with feeling rejected by your family, a friend, your birth family, a boyfriend or girlfriend... Whoever it is that you feel that is rejecting you, know that there is only One person that will never ever reject you. And that is Jesus.

Yes, people will always reject you and fail you, but Jesus will never do that. He loves us unconditionally and is always there for us through thick and thin.

I have been rejected by family, friends, and birth family. It was extremely hurtful for me for awhile and still kind of is. But to be quite honest, it has been super good for me. Because as I have been healing from all of this, I have grown so close to the Lord through it. It has just been extremely amazing.
If we can learn to forgive those who have hurt or rejected us, then it will be extremely helpful for our healing process. But one thing that is extremely important is to know that Jesus is on our side. If He is the only person that we have, that is truly and honestly all we need.

Lean on Jesus!

Where should I find my Joy?

In the past, when I go through hardships and trials, I was always super down and didn't know what to do. I felt that I just couldn't help but being depressed when I go through hard times. But to be quite honest, we can be joyful during these times... We just need to know where we can find everlasting joy. If we look to our friends or other things in life, we will only have temporary joy. So where do we find everlasting joy if we can't find it in others?

The only place we will find joy and peace during trials is at Jesus' feet. He is the Ultimate source and is the One that will be there for me 24/7. Friends and family will not always be there, and sometimes they will fail you as well. 

Let's rest at Jesus' feet and give Him all our burdens and stress to Him. He is the only One that will ever fully satisfy us. 

Hold onto that. 

Lies that Young Women Believe!

This past month I read a book called Lies that Young Women Believe, By: Nancy Leigh Demoss and Dannah Gresh. It has really encouraged me to work on truths and burn the fire of lies that are raging in my head. I just wanted to type out this last chapter in their book... It was super encouraging and I wanted to share it with you all. I hope you all find it very encouraging like I did, and hopefully you all will want to buy and read their whole book. Because it was super encouraging.

"THE TRUTH THAT SETS US FREE- Powerful truths to counter everyday lies

In this final chapter, we want to highlight twenty-two Truths taht we believe will radically transform your life if you will choose to believe and embrace them. These are key Truths we find ourselves going back to over and over again. 

Can you do us a favor? Rather than skimming through this chapter, take the time to focus on these liberating, life-changing Truths. 

In the days ahead, anytime you realize you are believing lies, go back and review this list. Let the Truth of God begin to replace the lies and renew your mind and heart. Meditating on the Truth will change the way you think, the way you respond and the way you live! 

#1. When you're having a really bad day and are tempted to feel that God is not good- GOD IS GOOD. (Psalm 119:68; 136:1). When everything is going just right, it's not hard to believe that God is good. But when you get into a fight with your best friend or are dumped by your boyfriend, the Enemy will move in and cause you to question God's goodness. The Truth is, regardless of your circumstances, regardless of what you feel, God is good, and everything He does is good. 

#2. When you feel far from God and are tempted to feel that He doesn't love you- GOD LOVES ME AND WANTS ME TO HAVE HIS BEST. (Romans 8:32, 38-39). God doesn't love us because we're lovable or worthy, but because He is love. There is absolutely nothing we can do to earn or deserve His love. We cannot fully grasp God's unconditional love because no human being can ever love us perfectly or fill the deepest needs of our heart. If we believe God's love is real and receive is, it will transform our lives. 

#3. When you feel ugly or fat- I AM FEARFULLY AND WONDERFULLY MADE (Psalm 139:14). Through you are bound to have a bad hair day now and then, God still considers you His masterpiece. He crafted you just as you are with precision and purpose. 

#4. When you feel rejected- I AM ACCEPTED IN CHRIST (Ephesians 1:4-6). You may have been rejected by a parent, a friend, or a boy you liked. But if you are a follower of Christ, you are accepted by God. We don't have to perform to get Him to accept us. Even though we are sinful, we can stand before God clean and totally unashamed, acceptable to Him. How? Because Jesus- the pure, sinless Son of God- is acceptable to Him, and we stand accepted before God through Jesus!

#5. When you feel you need more 'things' and are consumed by your desires- GOD IS ENOUGH (Psalm 23:1). 'The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want' (KJV). You've probably memorized that verse. But have you ever thought about what it means? AS a shepherd cares for his sheep, God has promised to meet all the needs of His sheep. The Truth is, if we have Him, we have everything we need.

#6. When you feel anxious about your circumstances- GOD CAN BE TRUSTED (Isaiah 28:16). God keeps His promises. He has promised never to leave or disown us (Hebrews 13:5). He has promised that those who trust in Him will never be disappointed (Psalm 22:5). When you feel fearful or anxious about circumstances or problems, remind yourself that God has never once let anyone down (Psalm 56:3), and HE is not going to start now!

#7. When you feel like something has happened to you that will ruin your life forever- GOD DOESN'T MAKE ANY MISTAKES (Isaiah 46:10). Sometimes other people make serious mistakes that affect our lives. But if we belong to Christ, He is holding our lives, and nothing can touch us that has not first been 'filtered through His fingers of love.' That doesn't mean we won't have problems- we will! But if we will embrace those challenges as being from His hand, HE will use them to draw us closer to Himself and to make us more like Jesus. 

#8. When you feel like you can't handle a problem you're facing- GOD'S GRACE IS ENOUGH FOR ME (2 Corinthians 12:9). As children of God, we will never face a problem that is too big for His grace to handle. Even where sin is seeming to run us over, His grace is greater (Romans 5:20). When we are weak, He is strong. When we are empty, He is full. When we have no resources of our own left, His resources are still, overflowing! No matter what you are going through right now, His grace is enough. 

#9. When you feel like your sin is too great for Him to forgive- THE BLOOD OF CHRIST IS SUFFICIENT TO COVER ALL MY SIN (1 John 1:7). There is not a sin you have ever committed or a sin you could ever commit that cannot be forgiven and covered by the all-powerful sacrifice of Jesus's blood. This should not make us take sin more lightly; instead, the understanding that our sin required the blood of the Lord Jesus should give us even greater desire to obey God, by the power of His Holy Spirit who lives in us. 

#10. When you feel like you'll never be able to overcome a sinful habit- THE CROSS OF CHRIST IS SUFFICIENT TO CONQUER MY SINFUL FLESH (Romans 6:6-7). Through the death of Christ and our relationship with Him, we have been set free from the power of sin. When you do sin, it's not because you couldn't help it, but because you chose to yield to your old master. The Truth is, we do not have to sin, and every sinful pattern in our lives can be overcome by the power of Christ living in us (Romans 6:14).

#11. When you feel like your potential is limited by your past- MY PAST DOES NOT HAVE TO CONTROL MY FUTURE (1 Corinthians 6:9-11; 2 Corinthians 5:17; Philippians 3:12-14). Satan tries to convince us that our past experiences and failures make us worthless, or that we will always have to carry that baggage of our past. But if you are a follower of Jesus Christ you have been cleansed by the blood of Jesus and set apart for His holy purposes. The Truth is that our past-the ways we have been wronged, and the ways we have wronged others- do not have to be hindrances. In fact, by God's grace, they can actually become the pathway to greater blessing and spiritual usefulness. 

#12. When you feel like you don't know where to turn for help and advice- GOD'S WORD IS SUFFICIENT TO LEAD ME, TEACH ME, AND HEAL ME (Pslams 19:7; 107:20; 119:105). The Word of God is alive and powerful. You can depend on His Word to change your life, deliver you from bondage, and reveal His will for your life. Whatever your need, whatever your circumstances, the Word of God is sufficient to meet that need. 

#13. When you feel like God is asking you to do something that's impossible- THROUGH THE POWER OF HIS HOLY SPIRIT, GOD WILL ENABLE ME TO DO ANYTHING HE COMMANDS ME TO DO (1 Thessalonians 5:24; Philippians 2:13). God does not command us to do anything that HE does not give us the grace to do. That means,for example, that 

• there is no one you cannot love (Matthew 5:44);
• you can give thanks in all things (1 Thessalonians 5:18);
• there is no one you cannot forgive (Mark 5:44);
• you an be sexually pure (1 Thessalonians 4:3-4);
• you can honor your parents and respond obediently to their authority, even when you disagree with them or they are imperfect (Ephesians 6:1-3).

By depending on God's grace and the power of His Spirit, we can choose to be obedient, no matter how difficult the command!

#14. When you want to blame others for your responses- I AM RESPONSIBLE BEFORE GOD FOR ME BEHAVIOR, RESPONSES, AND CHOICES (Ezekiel 18:19-22). We may not be able to control the things that happen to us, but we can control how we respond to the things God has allowed to come into our lives. When we stop blaming other people and circumstances for sinful behaviors or negative patterns in our lives and begin to assume personal responsibility for our own choices, we will be released from the sense that we are helpless victims. WE will be free to obey God regardless of our circumstances. 

#15. When you are tempted to believe that your choices today don't really matter- MY CHOICES TODAY WILL AFFECT MY FUTURE (Galatians 6:7-8). The choices you make today will have consequences in the future, not only in your life, but in the lives for those who will come after you. 'Do not be deceived . . . . Whatever one sows, that will he also reap' (Galatians 6:7). Every selfish, sinful, or indulgent choice we make today will come back as a harvest in our lives. The harvest is often not immediate. But it will come. The good news is that you are young and you can still make good choices that bring about a good harvest. 

#16. When you want to resist an authority or feel like submitting will steal your freedom- THE GREATEST FREEDOM I CAN EXPERIENCE IS FOUND BY SUBMITTING TO GOD-ORDAINED AUTHORITY (Ephesians 5:21). When we resist authority, we become more vulnerable to Satan's attacks and to sin. On the other hand, when we willingly take our place under those God has placed in authority over us, we are granted God's protective covering. We also reveal to the world the beauty of God's created order and proclaim His right to rule over the universe. Best of all, Satan is defeated in his attempts to dethrone God, and we cooperate with God in establishing His kingdom. 

#17. When you feel like giving up on the church- I NEED THE CHURCH (Ephesians 2:19-22; 5:225; 1 Corinthians 12:12-27; Hebrews 10:25). The church matters to God and it should matter to us. Jesus loves the church and died for it. Every child of God is a part of the church, the body of Christ. Every member of the body needs every other member. We were meant to function as a whole body. You might be the hands, or feet, or eyes. We can't function without you filling your role. God's Word encourages us to not stop coming together as the body of Christ. You will grow best in the church, imperfect as it is. Stick it out. It'll be worth it. 

#18. When you feel that a career is more rewarding and valuable than marriage and motherhood- IN THE WILL OF GOD, THERE IS NO HIGHER, HOLIER CALLING THAN TO BE A WIFE AND MOTHER (Titus 2:4-5). God created the woman to be a helper to her husband and a bearer and nurturer of life. Marriage and motherhood are God's norm for most women. Young women should rejoice in this calling and prepare themselves to fulfill it if and when God reveals that to be His will for their lives. For a wife and mother, contrary to what our culture says, no career, no hobby, no relationship, no priority is more important or more fulfilling. To make a home, to be united with man in glorifying God on this earth, to nurture the lives of children and grandchildren, to train and mold the next generation- there is no higher calling and no greater joy.

#19. When you are tempted to sacrifice holiness for immediate fulfillment- PERSONAL HOLINESS IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN IMMEDIATE HAPPINESS (Ephesians 5:26-27). God did not save us to make us happy in the immediate sense- He saved us to 'redeem us from all wickedness and to purify for himself a people that are his very own, eager to do what is good' (Titus 2:14 NIV). The Lord Jesus didn't come down to this earth and die so we could live for ourselves and our own pleasure, but so we could be free to life a life that please Him. Pleasing God will sometimes require sacrifices. But any sacrifice we make is temporary and cannot be compared with the joy and fulfillment we will gain in eternity. only through seeking to be holy can we every experience true happiness. 

#20. When you become consumed with wanting God to fix your life- GOD IS MORE CONCERNED ABOUT CHANGING ME AND GLORIFYING HIMSELF THAN ABOUT SOLVING MY PROBLEMS (Romans 8:29). When life gets hard, our natural instinct is to demand solutions- to find a way out of our problems. If this is our view, we will be tempted to become discouraged and angry when God does not 'cooperate' with our agenda. What matters most to God is that we reflect His glory. Some of the problems that frustrate us that most are actually tools He has designed to make us more like Jesus. To demand that He provide a solution of an escape from that impossible situation may cause us to forfeit a higher good that He is seeking to bring about in our lives. 

#21. When you don't understand a difficult situation you're facing- IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO BE GODLY WITHOUT SUFFERING (1 Peter 5:10; 2 Corinthians 4:17). Suffering takes on a whole new perspective when we realize that it is an essential tool in the hand of God to conform us to the image of Jesus. The process of spiritual growth take place as we embrace the hard things, rather than running from or resenting them. 

#22. When you want things to go your way- IT'S NOT ABOUT ME; IT's ALL ABOUT HIM (Colossians 1:16-18; Revelation 4:11)! The world was not created to revolve around us. The entire universe was created to revolve around Christ. If our goal in life is to be happy or accepted or loved, than anything that threatens our well-being will be an enemy- an obstacle to fulfilling our objective. On the other hand, once we agree with God that we exist for His pleasure and His glory, we can accept whatever comes into our lives as part of His sovereign willand purpose. WE will not resent, resist, or reject the 'hard things,' but embrace them as 'friends', designed by God to make us like Jesus and to bring glory to Himself.

We hope you'll embrace these Truths and hide them in your heart..."

I hope this encouraged you and made you want to read the rest of the book. Honestly this book really helped me and made me really want to just grow in the Lord. It was super encouraging. Off to reading the whole book over again. :) 

Strong enough

Love this

This is super encouraging and super true. 

God is good!

God is so good, even through hard times... HE is good. For awhile I was really struggling with the fact that when I go through trials, I thought that God was punishing me and trying to just do it because He wanted to do it, and other reasons.

But yesterday, I went to youth group and my youth pastor happened to be speaking on this topic. WE are starting to go through James, and literally this book of the BIble has been super good for me to be in.

My youth pastor gave us all these points to think about and one of them was that, when we do go through trials... IT doesn't mean that God is punishing us... That was one of the big points that hit me. To know that, it really is encouraging.
BUt to know that when we do go through trials, it means that God is wanting to change us and to grow closer to Him through that time.

God is truly amazing! I know that I have been going through a lot lately... But to be completely honest, I would NEVER TRADE it for the world. Yes, sometimes going through some of this stuff is really hard and difficult. But once I get to the other side of it, I just thank God.

Thank you Lord for being willing to change me and love me still. :)

GBT Christmas ball

I know this is late, but in December we had a Christmas ball for our class. To be totally honest, I was extremely scared of going. I didn't want to be that loner that never gets asked to dance. I have been really struggling with that, because I have gotten bullied. So I kept worrying about whether or not I was going to get asked. It got to the point that I really didn't want to go, because of all of that. But then God convicted me and made known to me that if I don't go, it was just a stupid reason not to go. 

After a few days of worrying about it, I realized that even if I didn't get asked... That I would be fine with that not being asked. I wasn't going to worry about it. I could just ask other girls that don't get asked, and I would be fine with that. 

Anyways, when the day came for the ball. I got to the ball, and I just had so much fun with my awesome girl friends. I decided that it was going to be an awesome night no matter if I get asked or not. 

We did introductions of each family and then Mr. Hinrichs (our teacher) read his letter to the men on what kind of manners to have at this dance. Then Mr. Hinrichs told all the young men to find a partner and get lined up for the Grand March. As I just stood there thinking what girl I was going to ask, (thinking that I wasn't going to get asked to dance) my friend, Caleb came up to me and asked politely to see if I would like to dance. All my nervousness went away, and I was beaming with joy that the Lord blessed me in being able for me to be able to dance with one of my good guy friends. 

So we danced and had a great time. It was super fun! Then we went to the next dances... It was super fun! 

God totally blessed me though... Because I just trusted Him in little things... Like being fine with just asking girls, He totally blessed me.
Because every dance, one of my guy friends ended up asking me to dance. Honestly that was a huge blessing. Because I really have been struggling with my appearance and feeling like no one wants to hang out with me and talk to me. So it really blessed me that people asked me. 

Anyways, sorry for going on and on. Enough with that... Here are a couple pictures from the ball. 

 My little girl. She is just such a joy to be in my life.

 I love my sisters. They are just such a blessing to have in my life.

 The Grand March

 Getting ready for the Grand March. Oh I had such an awesome partner. :)

 Dancing with Joey! Thank you Joey for asking me to dance. You are an awesome brother to me.

 My goofy brother... Thank you Christian for asking me to dance. It was fun!

My brothers and me. I just love them to death. Let me tell you, they were very handsome. They are such blessings to have in my life. :) Love you guys


With that all done, I am sorry that I didn't have more pictures. I didn't have my ipod with me, so I didn't get very many pictures from this awesome night. :/ But next time I will try too.

Find You on my Knees

Love One Another!

One big thing that I have been learning is to love those who have hurt me. This is a huge thing that I am learning right now. When you run into them at places, it is always so hard to be the first to go and talk to them. But honestly, we just need to show them the love that Christ has given us. Yeah, it may be hard... But sometimes that is the only way that those people will change that have been hurting you.

This is just food for thought, because a lot of people struggle with it.

I pray that I would be the one to be kind, loving, and caring to those who have hurt me. And this hopefully will be all of your prayers too.

Journey through writing!

I hope you all are having a blessed day. I wanted to share with you all that I have always loved writing. I believe that God has given me the ability to write and to enjoy it. With that said, I have always wanted to write a book. When I was a little younger, I was very interested in wanting to write children storybooks. But as I continue to grow up and see all that the Lord has brought me through and has taught me. The Lord put it on my heart to write a book about various things. Trusting in the Lord, delighting in the Lord, overcoming peer-pressure (and only caring about what God thinks, instead of what others think.), working on our relationship with the Lord right now, instead of worrying so much about our relationships with others, and a ton more subjects.

One thing that I have been having trouble with is whether to write this book only to young girls, or should I do for young boys and girls that are all struggling with such things? I know that girls and boys go through situations differently, so I don't know if I would be any help to the young men that would read.

What I would like to ask is: I need others input, do you think I should write to girls only. Or to both genders?

Thank you all so much for everything. :)

Worn!

I hope that you all are not annoyed with all of my songs that I keep posting. But music is really something that encourages me. I am so thankful for music to be able to encourage me as I keep going on with my life. :)

prince of peace

This song has really encouraged me. Every time we sing it at my youth group, it encourages me over and over again. I love this song, and I would encourage you to listen to it. 

In the secret

You make Beautiful things

This song is such an encouragement to me. I would encourage you to listen to it. :)

Looking back on 2014

2014 was an extremely hard, but good year. As 2015 got closer and closer I became more scared of what this year was going to hold. Satan kept trying to tell me to give up, he kept telling me I just couldn't do it.
But then God reminded me of how faithful God has been to me. Even though I have been through a ton this past year that was extremely hard, I don't think I would ever want to have it any different way. He has totally grown me closer to Him and has blessed me beyond measure.

Yeah life is going to be hard at times, but I need to remember how sovereign He has been to me and how much He has been here for me. He has and always will be here for me.

Thank you Mario Kellie Limon for being here when I need someone to talk to and just share with. THANK YOU FOR PRAYING FOR me and helping me. And growing me in The Lord.

I want to thank Kim Davis Catherine Hope Kristy Rodriguez Wood Tiffany wood, Caleb Bradley Elizabeth Bradley and many others for being here for me and praying for me as I have had a hard time. And thank you all for being here each step of the way.
I want to give a big thank you as well to my youth leaders Cristina MorrisBethany bolt, and Nathanael King for being here for me as well and wanting me to have a deep relationship with The Lord. Thank you guys so much for being here whenever I need you.

And I especially want to thank my Heavenly Father for all He is doing in my life and all He is growing me in. And all He continues to do.

I can't wait to see The Lord continue to grow me this year and the ones to come.