Having confidence

As I have been getting older, I have been running into a lot more. Recently I have been having a front row seat of what it really is like to see some of the sin that is happening in our world. (I am not saying that I am perfect, because I am far from perfect. And I know that God doesn't look at any of our sin differently. Therefore, I cannot judge anyone that struggles with different sins. Because I struggle with my own sin as well.) Seeing some friends, relatives, and celebrities fall in deep sin... It is really hard for me to watch. It is especially hard when I cannot do anything for them except be a light to them through Christ. Yeah that is a huge thing, but when you are in the middle of it... Sometimes it feels like nothing is happening. 

Honestly, even though I am sensitive and have a hard time with people that are totally far from the Lord. I know that it is super hard to see all these people that are heading down the wrong road. 

But I have TOTAL confidence that the Lord has full control of every persons life. And I know that He can change ANYTHING. 

Rejoice always!

When I was younger, I always thought that I had it hard. So I always was looking forward to becoming a teenager. Once I became a teenager, it really only has gotten more challenging. Yes, I love being able to make more decisions and stuff. But quite honestly, it is difficult. When I was younger, I thought that I would never struggle with being adopted, having friend drama, not getting along with certain people, struggling in school, and the list goes on.

A couple months ago, I started realizing that I was missing something... I started struggling with my identity. I didn't know who I really was. I thought that maybe part of it was because I didn't know much about my adoption stuff. I knew that my parents were trying to protect me from some information, because they knew that how emotional I am, that I wouldn't be able to handle some of the info. Up until a couple months ago, it didn't really hit me. Until finally I started struggling on who I really am. 

Finally the day came where I became so frustrated, that my parents were becoming confused and not knowing what to do. Finally I talked with my parents about everything and truth came all out. When I found out the truth about a lot of things... To be honest, it burdened me at first. But then I looked back from something that happened a few months ago, and I knew that the Lord totally prepared me for the situation I was now in. Honestly, right then all I could really do was just thank God for how He planned this all out. Knowing that everything is out in the open now is totally a blessing. 

These past couple months have been the hardest, most amazing, most wonderful months I have ever had. Yeah, it has been hard going through a lot. (Finding out about all my adoption stuff, struggling in school, getting terribly bullied, loosing some relationships, getting into a car accident, etc) But honestly, I wouldn't trade it for the world. Through all this I have been able to lean on the Lord and be able to find my satisfaction in Him. It has been amazing to be able to just lay at His feet each day and cling to Him. I just have to say, even through trials.. rejoice always. 

James 1:2-8

2 Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various [c]trials,3 knowing that the testing of your faith produces [d]endurance. 4 And let[e]endurance have its perfect [f]result, so that you may be [g]perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.

5 But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and [h]without reproach, and it will be given to him. 6 But he must ask in faith without any doubting, for the one who doubts is like the surf of the sea, driven and tossed by the wind. 7 For that man ought not to expect that he will receive anything from the Lord, 8 being a [i]double-minded man, unstable in all his ways.

Love this song!

This is such an encouraging song! And if you haven't watched the movie, I would highly encourage you to. It really made me think about how I need to put the Lord first.

What Should we Find Satisfaction in?

Day after day, I keep making the same mistake over and over. Finally I feel that it is too late to ever change back to not ever doing that same thing over and over again. So I keep slipping into the trap. Within a few months, I find that it only is leading in a bad place: Ruined relationships, being depressed, becoming angry easily, feeling that you are never satisfied. This is what keeps happening when you give into the trap. Finally you get to far into the trap, that it is so hard to get out. It feels that it is impossible to ever get out now.

Sometimes it takes something very hard to come down to, to make you really want to change.

Recently, I have been wanting to change. Questions I have been pondering on is: "How can I change?","Isn't it just easier to get answers from friends instead of God?", "Can't I just depend on my friends instead of God?", "Isn't God to busy for me?"

These are questions I have been pondering. I want to change. I would love to be able to depend on God for everything and run to Him first about everything and ask Him to help me. However, quite honestly, I really am struggling with this. Because I know that it is a lot more easier to find dependence in others instead of God. And I can get answers a whole lot quicker. But am I really satisfied with these answers? Are people going to fail me sometimes?

Recently, my friend told me that she was jealous of all the trials I am going through. I responded in shock and asked her why she felt that way, She shared with me that she was jealous of how I get to go through these trials and draw closer to Him through that. It really blessed me to hear that, because when I go through trials, I often fail to think this way. Often I think, "Why is God having me go through this? Isn't God big enough to make me not have to struggle with all this?" Well, yeah God is big enough to make me not go through trials, but He wants us to go through trials so that we will see His face through them and grow close to Him through them.

The other day, I was just living my life like I have been. I thought everything was all fine and normal, (as normal as it has been since I have been going through some things) and my friend was talking to me. She confronted me lovingly of how I have been making things my everything instead of God. It was quite honestly hard to take this in. But my friend was so loving about it, that I couldn't get mad. It made me realize that I really need to change. For the past few months, I have been wondering what I have been doing wrong. I knew that in my life I am missing something, but I haven't been able to figure it out. But then when this friend came up to me, I realized that this is what I am missing. I am totally missing that God wants me to cling to Him more than anyone else. He wants me to makes Him my EVERYTHING. He is trying to show me (by pulling some out of my life) that I am making others my everything, instead of Himself.

Sometimes I feel that I can be satisfied with the love, prayer, encouragement, advice, and care I get from others. But NO... I can only get that true satisfaction from the Lord.

If I am always looking for others to satisfy me, I will always have a hole to fill. But if I find my satisfaction in the Lord, I won't need anyone else to fill it.

I know this is going to be hard to do, because I can get an answer more quickly from friends... But my friends will fail me and my God will NEVER fail me. He will always be here for me. :)

I have learned many things within this, but the main thing I have learned is: Rely on the Lord and don't depend on others. They won't always be there for you, and they won't ever be perfect. But God will always be perfect, He never changes, and He will ALWAYS be there for you.



Yesterday, I ran into this quote, and quite honestly, it has really changed me. It is encouraging to know that we need to not hold things as tight as we are to God. We should be holding everything with open hands (for God to take away at anytime) instead of grasping it. The only thing we should be grasping onto is to our Heavenly Father.

I pray that this encouraged you as much as it has me.

Trusting!

This morning I woke up feeling scared, nervous, and emotions just filled my young soul. I was wondering why I felt this way. I didn't know why I was freaking out and wanting answers. Why am I feeling this way? Why is God letting me go through hard times in my life? Why am I struggling with some relationships? Why can't I just have a life without stress? Certain questions like these, came to my mind. 

After thinking about it for awhile, I realized that I was trusting in myself and not in God. God wouldn't want me to worry about whether or not I get sick, whether or not I am pretty or ugly, feeling guilty about something God has already forgiven me for, etc. 

I could worry all day about all of this. But God doesn't want me to. He wants me to put my trust in Him. And to know that He has everything under control. 

Sometimes, I wonder why God puts me in some situations, but then I just remember that God has me here for a reason. I may not know why He has put me in some situations, but I know that God works everything out for my good. He loves me and cares for me more than anyone else. My God never fails me. 

I don't need to be afraid when I don't know what is going to happen, because I have a loving Savior who loves me more than I can imagine. 

One quote that really encourages me is, "I don't know what tomorrow holds, but I know who holds tomorrow." 

I pray that if you struggle with some things like I am. I pray that this would all encourage you as well.  

Welcome!

Good afternoon everyone! I have blogged for awhile now, but I decided to start a new blog. I made the decision of starting a new blog because I just wanted a newer start on my blog. I want to be able to write more about things I have been learning. Learning a lot from hard decisions I made, finding out more about my life, growing to draw closer to the Lord, and so many other things.

Anyways, with all that said, I would like to welcome you to my new blog.

I decided to name my blog, Called Higher. The reason I did this was because for the past week or two I have been listening to this song called, Called Me Higher. It has really encouraged me as I have been struggling with lots of things. I remembered that we can just sit and wait for God's goodness, and to wait for His presence. But God has called us higher and deeper, so we should go where God leads us to go. Anyways, I was inspired by this song to name my blog this.

I would just encourage you to click the link below and watch/listen to the song. I pray that it will encourage you as much as it encouraged me.

Have a blessed weekend!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FgAzLKXqcDk