Rejoice always!

When I was younger, I always thought that I had it hard. So I always was looking forward to becoming a teenager. Once I became a teenager, it really only has gotten more challenging. Yes, I love being able to make more decisions and stuff. But quite honestly, it is difficult. When I was younger, I thought that I would never struggle with being adopted, having friend drama, not getting along with certain people, struggling in school, and the list goes on.

A couple months ago, I started realizing that I was missing something... I started struggling with my identity. I didn't know who I really was. I thought that maybe part of it was because I didn't know much about my adoption stuff. I knew that my parents were trying to protect me from some information, because they knew that how emotional I am, that I wouldn't be able to handle some of the info. Up until a couple months ago, it didn't really hit me. Until finally I started struggling on who I really am. 

Finally the day came where I became so frustrated, that my parents were becoming confused and not knowing what to do. Finally I talked with my parents about everything and truth came all out. When I found out the truth about a lot of things... To be honest, it burdened me at first. But then I looked back from something that happened a few months ago, and I knew that the Lord totally prepared me for the situation I was now in. Honestly, right then all I could really do was just thank God for how He planned this all out. Knowing that everything is out in the open now is totally a blessing. 

These past couple months have been the hardest, most amazing, most wonderful months I have ever had. Yeah, it has been hard going through a lot. (Finding out about all my adoption stuff, struggling in school, getting terribly bullied, loosing some relationships, getting into a car accident, etc) But honestly, I wouldn't trade it for the world. Through all this I have been able to lean on the Lord and be able to find my satisfaction in Him. It has been amazing to be able to just lay at His feet each day and cling to Him. I just have to say, even through trials.. rejoice always. 

James 1:2-8

2 Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various [c]trials,3 knowing that the testing of your faith produces [d]endurance. 4 And let[e]endurance have its perfect [f]result, so that you may be [g]perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.

5 But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and [h]without reproach, and it will be given to him. 6 But he must ask in faith without any doubting, for the one who doubts is like the surf of the sea, driven and tossed by the wind. 7 For that man ought not to expect that he will receive anything from the Lord, 8 being a [i]double-minded man, unstable in all his ways.